Dear Me, Sincerely, Me.

I'm a sucker for letters. I love writing them. I love receiving them. I'm also a sucker for writing letters to myself.
Let me explain.
When I was younger, probably 12 or 13 or something, we did this thing at church where we wrote letters to ourselves in the future. Basically we were writing about our future spouses or whatever, and we weren't supposed to open said letters until we were getting married.
I still have them. Unopened.
We wrote other letters as well, like time capsule type things.
I still have them. Unopened.
Back in 2006, when I was 14, I discovered this website called futureme.org. It was made for me, I swear. You write letters to yourself, and they're delivered to your e-mail address sometime in the future. Back in 2006 I wrote one. The subject of the email, "Wow your old." Obviously showing my impeccable attention to grammar. It is to be delivered in 2013. I cannot wait.
Since then, I've written an email to myself each year to be delivered around the time of my birthday. As I procrastinated today, I recalled these emails, and pulled them up out of curiosity.
I've always been fascinated with my progression as a person.
Just like every other adolescent girl I went through phases. Phases that were somewhat reflected through these emails.
These emails have started short, and got longer and more detailed as time went on.
The content of the emails started more trivial, and became more heartfelt and deep as time went on.
But as I read the emails, I'll admit, I got a little sad.
Not so much nostalgia, but rather, the idea that my life didn't exactly turn out as I suspected. My dreams didn't exactly come true. My predictions, well, were wrong.
For example:
January 15th, 2008: "I still want to go to UF, in fact I REALLY want to go to UF, and I hope you're getting good enough grades for it."
University of Florida was my dream. I wound up not even applying. Not because I couldn't, it just became unrealistic.
Over time, the people I was once close and devoted so much time to, changed.
This is evident through the emails.
And it makes me sad.
Like I devoted so much time and trust into a relationship that seemingly turned out to be a waste.
And then I think, what if I did something differently? What would my life be like if I handled a situation differently?
What if I never left Florida?
Or what if I went to UF?
And then I think, "what if" nothing.
There's no point to "what if."
It is what it is.
"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."
I'm happy!
I love my life.
I may have redefined my dreams. I may have redefined my goals. I may have redefined my relationships. And through it all, it has shaped who I am as a person.
And I like who I am now.
So I'm going to keep on writing letters to myself in the future.
Why?
Because reading them reminds me of where I've been, who I was, what I've overcome.
They might make me a little bit sad, but more often than not, I find my present self laughing at my past self.
Because let's face it, I've had some pretty silly aspirations.
And at the end of the day, it's really okay that not everything worked out as I wanted them to.
Because if they had, who would I be today?

What's On Your Mind?

I got into the habit of not posting.
This changes now.
This could be a result of my laptop being broken.
Yeah, tragic.
It's currently undergoing surgery at the Hewlett Packard Factory.
Although it's been a total pain not having my laptop it's given me some time to think...and sleep.
And what did I think about?
Facebook.
Not that I missed it...but how it's taking over the world.
Facebook.
Facebook.
Add me on Facebook.
Tag me on Facebook.
Facebook.
Facebook.
Everyone has a Facebook.
My grandpa has a Facebook.
Yeah.
And personally I'm a fan of Facebook. Converted to the Facebook World 5 years ago...back when barely anyone had a Facebook. Back when people used Facebook for the simplest reason...to keep in touch.
I miss those days.
People take Facebook way too seriously.
A relationship status on Facebook makes it "official."
Starting drama over Facebook.
Facebook comment wars.
Deleting people as friends on Facebook.
Getting offended if someone doesn't comment, "Happy Birthday."
Getting offended if someone doesn't say, "Thank you." for a compliment on a picture.
Having lectures in class about "Facebook Etiquette."
Posting "vague" status' to prove a point about something or someone.
Poking people.
SERIOUSLY.
My dear friend Stephen made a good point today, in regards to not posting the date of his birthday.
"I don't want 21381765230962 comments from people who really don't give a shit. So when I get one, it's because someone actually remembered."
I mean, yeah, a friendly Facebook reminder that it's someone's birthday because it totally slipped your mind is nice.
But when you use Facebook as your primary form of communication, it becomes an issue.
Here's my rant about Facebook:
It's not my life. Yes I will admit, I have mastered the art of Facebook stalking, but really, who hasn't? My mother has. Please.
I'm not going to delete you as a friend. I'm not going to have "friend sweeps." Why? At some point, you added someone because you had contact with them. I honestly don't care enough to go through the 500 something friends I have to take the time to delete people. If I don't talk to you anymore, if you hate me, if I hate you...I don't take Facebook seriously enough to "de-friend" you to prove a point. It's stupid. I'm glad you care enough about Facebook to take the time to do so, though.
Furthermore, I don't need Facebook to define a relationship. And if you want to have your relationship advertised on Facebook...then don't hide it from anyone. Case closed.
To those who post every little thing about their lives as status updates? Get over it. Some things should be kept to yourselves. You're not proving a point. You're not gaining my sympathy.
OMG HE POKED ME WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!?
Well, I don't know. Because if he wanted to talk to you, he probably would've by now, right? Yeah, I'm not a fan of poking. I won't start poking, nor will I poke back. Sorry.
My english prof deleted his Facebook. He figured if people were his true friends, they'd just keep in contact with him without Facebook.
I thought about doing that for a minute.
But really, Facebook is a great way to keep in contact. I'll admit it. I've been able to rekindle many friendships from Florida or whatever through Facebook. And yeah, it's a great way to share pictures, share news/events...blah blah blah.
But when it gets to the point that it causes drama or whatever? That's when it's too much. And really, we're all guilty of it at some point. (all of us who have a Facebook...that is.)
Anyway, I think I'll go check my Facebook now.