"In Sicily, women are more dangerous than shotguns."

When girls are little they often dream about being a princess.
They dream of wearing big beautiful dresses. Riding in carriages. Living in castles. Marrying a prince charming.
I too dreamed of being a princess.
...A mafia princess, that is.
Okay, maybe I didn't exactly dream of this when I was very little. I, as most young children, wasn't aware of what a mob even was.
My daddy always watched mobster movies though. The Godfather. Goodfellas. Stuff like that was usually playing in the background of our house.
Eventually I began taking interest in these movies. Fascinated with the mafia culture.
My daddy explained to me the backgrounds of the families, the terminology, what they did.
I was intrigued.
We often went to my grandpa's house after church on Sundays.
I never really saw anything out of the ordinary with my grandpa.
As far as I can remember, he's always been a larger guy, hair always slicked back. Gold chain. Fat gold rings on each finger. Always clean cut, clean shaven. Sitting at the kitchen table with a cigarette and a cup of coffee. Every Sunday. Same thing.
I thought this was totally normal.
Until my Quinceanera.
He sat in the back corner with the rest of the family. My friends would come up to me asking..."OMG who is that guy?!" "Is that a real mobster?" "Can I take a picture with him?" "...Can I touch him?"
I swear it.
Like I said, I never noted anything different in my grandpa. That's just the way he was.
Didn't all grandpa's wear gold rings on each finger?
Didn't all grandpa's keep a gun on their waist?
After the Quinceanera incident, I became more inquisitive. I really wanted to know what my grandpa did. I wanted to hear stories. This was for real.
So he told me some stuff. The stuff he could tell me.
I was beyond intrigued.
That's when my grandpa became the coolest person I know.
Anyway, back to my dreams of being a mafia princess.
I've seen the movies. The Godfather. Goodfellas. My Cousin Vinny. Scarface. American Gangster. The Departed.
...Gangster movies.
I've done my research. The Five Families. Cosa Nostra. the Luftanza Heist. Sammy The Bull, John Gotti, the Gambino family...all that.
So I know what goes on with the business.
People get whacked and everyone is so non-chalant about it.
People are corrupt and it's totally okay.
People burn up buildings, ruin peoples lives, with no remorse.
And this is all because of money. Or someone insulting someone. Or someone not trusting someone.
It's bad. It's illegal.
...And I want it.
They go to the best restaurants and never having to pay, because they own them.
They go to concerts and shows and get backstage passes, because they own the theater.
They walk around town and townsfolk address them by name, because they probably have asked you for favors...and because they fear you.
Obviously the role of the wife is to not know anything. She doesn't ask. She doesn't tell. She takes care of the family. She makes appearances. She benefits.
So why do I dream of being a mafia princess?
Here's why.
Because I imagined myself being part of the business myself. Not being totally subservient but rather, being cunning, powerful, and wealthy.
My ballgown? A fur coat and dripping in diamonds.
My carriage? A black rolls royce.
My prince charming? A sophisticated, powerful boss. Feared, admired, revered.
Anyway, just like any girls dream of being royalty, this dream of being a mafia princess is pretty unrealistic.
It's really a life of gambling. Literally and metaphorically. Waiting for the day the feds come banging on your door at 5 am. And then life is never the same. It's a life of prison visits and being a single parent trying to make a living legitimately.
And once the cops get ya, you lose it all. The life is over.
Not to mention...It's basically a life built out of illegal activities.
...But a girl can dream, right?